Gooses Muses

The Avian Misadventures of Outdoor Dining

There’s a fancy word for eating outdoors: al fresco dining. The term is Italian and means “in the cool air.” But that’s not how Italians use the term. For them it means quite the opposite: spending time in the clink. We sure did screw that one up. But no worries, for today is National Eat Outside Day!

“bird-at-outdoor-dining"

Photo courtesy of Haberdoedas II on Unsplash+

Depending on when and where you are on our planet, al fresco dining may be a pleasant way to spend an afternoon or Hell on Earth. An afternoon spent dining with friends in Eastern Texas in July may very well end up a disagreeable engagement. The sugary cold of a Texas style iced tea does nothing to combat the sweltering heat mixed with the incessant mosquito buzz and bites. But a Fall evening barbecue among the yellowing leaves and cool breeze of the Appalachian mountains might turn out to be a life defining satisfaction.

Whatever the case, there is one thing you need be cautious of when dining outdoors: bird chlamydia.

I almost fell victim to bird chlamydia (also known as parrot fever) and a host of other bird diseases while rooftop dining with friends and family. There I was enjoying my warm eggs benedict and chatting away with lifelong friends when—plop—an avian beast perched above decided to relieve itself on my breakfast.

And I was oblivious to it all.

But, just as I dug my fork into the dish’s sloppy goodness, my sharp-eyed friend immediately halted me, warning me that my next bite might be my avian induced demise. We promptly ordered a replacement plate and laughed away the disgust.

I owe my life to my friend. Were it not for him, I might have ended up hospitalized, suffering the agonizing pangs of bird related infirmities.

So, the lesson of it all: never eat outside alone.

Happy National Eat Outside Day!