A Marshmallow Is Never a Warm Cookie
I was in Cub Scouts as a kid. I made it all the way to Webelos. I have fond memories of shooting bow and arrow and camping in state parks. We roasted hot dogs over the open flame. We even made smores. And as a smores admirer, I’m happy to say that today is National Toasted Marshmallow Day.
Toasted marshmallows were always tricky. Eat them too soon and you’ll burn your mouth. Eat them too late and they’re cold, mushy globs of goo. But eat them at just the right moment and you’re experiencing low-level palatal bliss. Even so, there are two problems facing toasted marshmallows: (a) the twig problem and (b) the cookie problem.
The twig problem is the more sinister of the two. It goes like this: you forgot your metal skewer rods but you’re hankering for some toasted marshmallows anyway, so you go ahead and use some twigs you found laying in the dirt.
The dirt isn’t the problem. After all, we’re made from dirt and to dirt we’ll return. No, the problem is the twig itself. For eating a toasted marshmallow that’s been toasted on a twig also involves eating some of the twig’s crunchy and gritty bark as well. And as a species, we’ve evolved well beyond eating tree bark.
The cookie problem won’t get the grainy remains of a tree stuck in your teeth. In fact, it’s quite the opposite: your mouth will savor the sweet aftertaste of warm dough and chocolate chips. So here’s the cookie problem: on average, cookies taste much better than toasted marshmallows.
Were I to die today and rise unto gustatory heaven where I was presented a choice between warm toasted marshmallows and freshly baked cookies, I’d undoubtedly choose the cookie. Who wouldn’t?
And that’s the entire point: I’d much prefer a cookie.
Happy National Toasted Marshmallow Day!